


A Delicacy

by Kalloway



Category: Dragalia Lost (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Penis Fish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23701000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalloway/pseuds/Kalloway
Summary: Ranzal tries to sneak a snack before dinner. What he finds...
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6
Collections: Flash In The Pan: A Food Flash Exchange, The Lemonade Cafe





	A Delicacy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [taichara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taichara/gifts).



To his credit, Ranzal did not scream. He did not scream and alert Cleo and Sazanka that he had slipped into the kitchen to help himself to whatever he could grab from whatever had been in those absolutely stuffed sacks they'd brought back from the town market. He did not scream and alert Cleo and Sanaka that he'd slipped into the kitchen when they were both holding very sharp knives and were talking about how to prepare the day's bounty. 

He simply slipped the cover back onto the bowl he'd peeked into... 

And he _ran_. 

He nearly ran right into Ieyasu and Vixel, who seemed to be on their way toward the kitchen, or at least farther from the safety that Ranzal found himself seeking. 

"You don't want to go that way," he said quickly. "Trust me." 

"I believe Sazanka and Cleo are handling tonight's meal," Ieyasu noted carefully. "We'll be fine." 

Ranzal shook his head. "Not with what they have to cook up." 

He glanced back to make sure the coast was clear before leaning towards the pair. "I may have went in to sneak a snack, but what I saw..." 

"Ranzal, I'm sure whatever you saw was-" 

"Penises," Ranzal said, cutting Vixel right off. "Big bowl of dicks. Fresh and pink and..." 

He shivered. Vixel blinked. Ieyasu... seemed oddly amused. 

Ranzal did not want to think about it. 

"So I think if we're fond of ours, we should head the other way," he concluded. 

There was a short quiet moment before Ieyasu laughed softly. "It's okay," he said. "I believe you're right about one thing, but wrong about the rest." 

"Ieyasu?" Vixel questioned. 

Ranzal just stared. This was getting oddly... something. Probably personal. It was probably getting personal. 

"Come to the kitchen and we'll see," Ieyasu continued, gesturing. "I can understand your concern..." 

Against his better _everything_ , Ranzel followed Ieyasu back to the kitchen. Beside him, Vixel just shrugged, obviously curious but also... unsure, probably. 

This time, Cleo and Sazanka saw him. Saw the whole group. They still had knives. And now they had the lid off the bowl and in their hands-- 

"Master Ieyasu!" 

"Ranzal? Vixel?" 

"That's certainly suggestive," Vixel murmured. Ranzal was pretty sure he should have stayed running the other way. 

"Wherever did you find those?" Ieyasu questioned. "Apparently Ranzal caught a glimpse and was concerned for the combined lower-regions of the Halidom." 

"Ranzal, were you trying to steal food again?" Cleo asked, moving to shake a fist except she was holding one of the fat pink... dicks. She made a face and then shook her head. "Serves you right. Despite what they look like, Sazanka says these are a _delicacy_!" 

Beside her, Sazanka nodded. "A merchant had them, still quite fresh, and we were also able to procure everything for several sauces." 

Ieyasu pulled one from the bowl, fat and pink and fantastically... dick-like. Ranzal was still unsure. He'd also certainly never seen Vixel turn _that_ particular color before. 

"They do get called _penis fish_ for a reason," Ieyasu explained as he... jiggled the one in his hands around. "They're tasty both raw and cooked." 

"They're seafood, Ranzal," Cleo said flatly as she put hers back down. "If you wait a little bit longer, you can even be the first to try one." 

For the first time in a long time, Ranzal considered refusing food. But Ieyasu had just confirmed they were tasty and everything else Sazanka had ever made had been fantastic... 

Ieyasu offered the penis fish to Vixel, who seemed slightly less unsure as he took it and looked it over. 

"I guess." Ranzal was not expecting Vixel to offer the penis fish to him, but there it was and, well, it still looked more like a penis than a fish, never mind what it felt like. But it was an impressive enough dick, he supposed. A man could be a little intimidated by it. 

"Hey, I heard there was a bunch of good stuff at the market today. Did you get--" 

Ranzal turned as Luca bounded into the kitchen and then immediately froze at the sight. Which was understandable, considering it probably looked like a really bad ending from one of Norwin's books... 

To Luca's credit, he didn't scream. 

But Ranzal knew he'd have a lot of explaining to do... once he returned the penis fish to its bowl and... once he found where Luca ran off to... 

_After_ he got the first bite he'd been promised. Just so he could be sure.


End file.
